Glenda & John
Compassionate Honesty


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Self-Study - Your Schedule, Your Pace, Your Choice

There are a wide variety of excellent materials available to support a self-directed learning program. Use these links to jump down to the section(s) of interest to you:
1 - Getting Started

All of the materials in this section are available from Online bookstores such as Amazon & Chapters/Indigo; or from http://www.cnvc.org/matls.htm - shipped from California
  1. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg

    If you purchase only one tool to support you in learning this process, we would recommend this book, written by the originator of the work. In addition to explaining the central concepts of the process, it provides you with opportunities to check your understanding of the material by categorizing various statements as either in alignment with the process, or not. It also includes many real-life examples, so you can "see it in action".

  2. "Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook" by Lucy Leu

    We have found this workbook very useful in helping us to get the most from Marshall's book. If you are using this by yourself, we strongly recommend skipping parts III and IV - going directly from page 10 to page 55. (On our first pass through, we started reading the book straight through and got really bogged down in the other material, which resulted in our missing the real value of this workbook for almost a year!)

    If you are wanting to start a practice group, we cannot recommend this book strongly enough! We believe it can make the difference between helping the group really start to get the essence of NVC, and having it be just one more way to make one another wrong. (And, believe me, we've had enough experience of the latter to know it's not a fun place to be!)

  3. "Speaking Peace" 2-CD or audiotape set by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg

    If you can afford one more item to support your learning, we would suggest this. We have listened to these CDs over and over again and find that actually hearing the words spoken by Marshall does two things. First, ite helps us connect with the energy and intention of this work. Secondly, it helps us understand how to make this sound natural.

2 - Learning from Your Own Life Experiences
  • Revisiting Challenging Situations
    What has helped me the most in learning this process is taking a second look at situations that didn't turn out the way I would have liked. I go back to beginning, or the exchange before things seemed to go off the rails. I try using the process to see how I could have expressed myself differently. And I try guessing what might have been going on with the other person.

  • Needs & Feelings Lists
    These have been the single most useful learning tool we have encountered! We keep copies of them all over our home (kitchen, office, bedroom - even under the cushions on the couch!) and in the car. Whenever things are getting a bit strained, we pull them out to support us in using the process.

    There are free lists available from the Center for Nonviolent Communication website:
    Needs - http://www.cnvc.org/needs.htm
    Feelings - http://www.cnvc.org/feelings.htm

    Also, we sell laminated copies of these types of lists for $3 each. Thanks to Certified NVC Trainer Duke Duscherer for introducing us to these wonderful lists prepared by Vesna Mitrovich, another Certified NVC Trainer.
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3 - Specialized Resources
    http://www.cnvc.org/matls.htm sells a wide variety of materials that have made significant contributions to our learning and growth around this process. We would love to highlight them all, but will take space here to just mention a few:
    • For Parents & Teachers
      • Booklets:
        • "Parenting From Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice",
        • "Teaching Children Compassionately: How students & teachers can succeed with mutual understanding",
        • "Raising Children Compassionately"
      • Longer Books:
        • "Life Enriching Education" (I found this book very inspiring - a vision of what is possible!)
        • "The Compassionate Classroom: Relationship Based Teaching and Learning" (Includes lots of practical exercises for introducing these concepts to children)
      • CD's/Audiotapes:
        • "Nonviolent Communication for Educators",
        • "A Heart-to-Heart Talk" (to Educators)
      • Videotape::
        • "Resolving Conflicts with Children and Adults” (An early videotape of an evening workshop with Marshall Rosenberg. It has excellent content but not great video quality; not recommended as an initial introduction to NVC. One videotape, two hours.)
    • Personal Challenges
      • Anger
        • "What’s Making You Angry? 10 Steps to Transforming Anger So Everyone Wins" (booklet)
        • "Expressing and Receiving Anger Compassionately" (audiotape - that I've listened to a lot!)
      • Conflict Resolution:
        • "We Can Work It Out: Resolving Conflicts Peacefully and Powerfully" (booklet)
        • "Getting Past the Pain Between Us: Healing and Reconciliation Without Compromise" (booklet)
      • Empathy / Supporting Others Compassionately:
        • "Needs and Empathy" (CD)
        • "Experiencing Needs as a Gift" (CD)
        • "Intimate Relationships" (CD)
      • Gratitude - A Whole New Way...
        • "Giraffe Fuel for Life" (CD)
      • Regret - Dealing with it Compassionately & Effectively
        • "Creating a Life-Serving System Within Oneself" (CD)
      • Social Change & Team Work
        • "The Heart of Social Change: How to Make a Difference in Your World" (CD)
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4 - Email Resources
  • Feel free to email us with questions or stories - we will do our best to reply, and your question or story may help or inspire others! (We'll check with you before sharing anything you send with others.)
    Send mail to connect@compassionatehonesty.com. John notes that Glenda is our primary responder to this type of email, and her responses are generally quite in-depth and comprehensive. And Glenda acknowledges that she can generally only manage her kind of detailed responses to 1 or 2 emails per week.

  • Glenda also periodically sends out emails she calls "Glenda's Notes" about what she is learning about living compassionately. If you are interested in receiving such notes, send an email to connect@compassionatehonesty.com requesting being added to the "Glenda's Notes" distribution list. You can unsubscribe at any time.

  • The CNVC website provides information about a variety of world-wide email groups. At this time there are specialized groups on parenting, education, social change, and for those studying to be certified trainers. Find out about these and other groups at http://www.cnvc.org/egroups.htm

5 - Other Free Resources